Alien Covenant Review: UNEXPECTED EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

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*SPOILERS AHEAD* 

Alien Covenant is like a creeping acid trip. For the first forty minutes, barely nothing, you sit there thinking you got a bad batch. The only horrifyingly depressing part was when a woman's partner died while asleep in a cryogenic bed. When I say die I mean he was set on fire inside his pod becoming skeletal rather quickly. Putting myself in her shoes, that was horrifying.

The alien threat in it's early stages is air born, like a pollen. Nothing happens until one person gets sick and is carried to the med bay. That is when something VIOLENTLY bursts from the sick man's back and attacks a peer.

From that point it's like the feeling of screeching metal getting louder, standing your hairs on end, as the woman tries to fight off the new born and ends up blowing the freak'in ship up she's in.

Let me vocalize the experience, "Blah nothing..., hm..oh, oh no, ARUGH!? OH GOD! SHIT!!            -Anxiety, explosion-"

So now that things get interesting you find out that the fields are crawling with new borns. A stranger however saves them which happens to be the android David from Prometheus.
Here is what you missed in the gap from the end of Prometheus to Covenant. David arrived on a engineer's world and committed genocide with the alien ship Elizabeth Shaw and him had flown away in at the end of Prometheus. It was the same weapon the engineers were on their way to Earth with to wipe out their creation, humanity. They had been mysteriously stalled though which is how Elizabeth and her peers stumbled upon the secrets of man's origins. Where they also discovered that their creators may not be benevolent gods.

Anyway David had been experimenting, including with (the now dead) Elizabeth whom he had apparently turned on. David is one of the old models of androids which could think a little bit more human-like with ambition, creativity, ect.
He basically developed into Ultron and began cultivating life on the world he commited genocide on. The life being the evolution cycle of the species they crossed in Prometheus. He no longer has respect for humans, we wants to craft something more advanced.

When the fresh characters of Covenant begin catching on that this android has sympathy for the beasts and values them more they freak out. David even lures people into being test subjects for things like the newly invented face hugger. Yes, Alien Covenant explains the origin of the face hugger, it was apparently created by a insane A.I.

Who saw that coming? Sit down and stop lying.

Anyway, there is a series of a few fights, more Xenomorphs but like adult size get into the mix.

The humans are trying to escape while the newer model of David fights the old free-will inclined model. It teases you though, as you don't know which one walked away from the fight.
The winner even helps the humans escape from a adult sized alien on their craft during evacuation, so you really aren't certain about anything.

But when everyone gets back into their cryogenic pods to sleep, the main character discovers too late that it isn't their David. It's because while her pod began operating she mentioned something personal she had shared before and the new David hesitated not getting the reference.
Terrified she went to sleep.
The ship and thousands of sleeping humans were under David's watch, he even stored some alien and face hugger embryos in storage with the human fetus tissue.

So extremely amazingly written. Boring opening, not enough about the engineers. It seems like the director refuses to spoon feed answers what's so ever, a lot of it is just completely up to the imagination, forever mystery.
Don't give up on this movie because of the beginning, it's worth sticking to it.

Beauty & Beast 2017: A Late Review

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   I feel like there are some films that every citizen is obligated to go see. At least in a sense of keeping up with culture and new art. A say culture because these things aren't just "pop culture" anymore, it's what we talk about, these entertainments influence us, they are a modern art. Similar to how people in the Victorian years would go to the opera to see what's new, what sights and sounds to experience.

 Odd to say that, especially about a live action Disney remake. What happened to the days where Disney kept trying to make these live action reboots and no one cared? I was honestly shocked that the fifth attempt at Jungle Book actually succeeded so well.

Then we have Beauty and the Beast, the ticket sales impressively took a long time to drop, the movie literally made over one billion. An absolutely success that guarantees another ten more live action remakes. There have been director choices already made for a: Lion King, Mulan, Aladdin.
Honestly I want to see a new Nightmare before Christmas, I think that'd be the only way they could remake it and gain approval from fans.

So I saw B&B, extremely late because I dedicated money to Guardians of the Galaxy 2 which is personally more important to me. BUT, I did want to see Beauty and the Beast before red box and not online, so we waited for the cheaper theater to show it.

WORTH IT. I wasn't entirely sold on Emma Watson, but other people love her and thinks she was perfect so whatever. I didn't dislike her and I will give her credit for actually singing in the movie. The beast is very likable, the actor has fantastic comedic timing while talking. The furniture is kind of creepy, at least the wardrobe was just terrifying looking.



To be constantly reminded that they need Bell to upset their curse was unnecessary to me, but it wasn't too annoying. I mean they were collateral that forced her to awaken some sympathy to give her environment and the beast a chance. So it's fine.

All the dialog was perfect, there are some new songs that no one cares about The story gives more depth so stuff makes a little more sense. What happened to Bell's mother, why was the Beast such a brat, and Gaston's motivations are COMPLETELY fleshed out.

To me, the scenes of Gaston and La Fou were absolutely the best. I loved their chemistry, I found myself getting excited every single time they came on screen. I laughed the most during their scenes, best two characters of the movie to me. Also their 'No One Like Gaston' song was the best song in the movie.

Every scene has a purpose nothing really of waste, however, I did think the scenes with Bell's father were boring. I mean they would kind of dragged on, which were the only times I woke up and realized I was in a theater again.

Ian Mckellen (Magneto, Gandalf) cameos as the human cog's worth at the end unthrilled to meet his wife again, just a great little gift there.

The only thing that disturbed me or made me cringe was this romance:



I mean what the actual fuck.



Why does the feather duster have to look like a bird, it makes their romance kind of disturbing.

It's entirely worth seeing, it's a must see. I don't think you'd be able to function as well in our society without seeing it at least once. It's like not having seen Frozen while all this merchandise and referencing floods everything around you.
Yet I must say, this one has better taste than Frozen and I can see myself actually re-watching Beauty and the Beast.

Why people want MOONKNIGHT in MCU/NETFLIX

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   Moon knight is a mad man, but instead of the silliness of Deadpool it's more like a physiological experience. Imagine a character trying to be assured by the outside world that they are insane and should be incarcerated. Meanwhile that character is being warned that not only is their fantasy world real and gravely important, but that the head doctor in charge of Moon Knight's mental care is of great evil. It's much like this one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy woke up in a nuthouse being assured that she snapped out of a fantasy laced coma. Next being instructed to ignore or even destroy the very pillars of what keeps that fantasy world up.

Moon Knight is a human chosen to uphold a role completely composed of Egyptian mythology, he stumbles into our reality in a altered desert state (image New York after a massive sandstorm with Obelisks), and he eventually chooses to follow his madness. The audience follows him but there is absolutely no hard truths in his story. This is successfully done by making even the most fanatical lores and circumstances tantalizingly believable.

The only problem with Moon Knight is that in order to be a member of the Avengers or a Defender, that self doubt could not be a never ending arc. As soon as he is reassured by the world around him that his reality as a super hero is real, then that aspect of mystery goes out the window.



That's not all he has to offer of course, but it'd be a large plot device to throw away.
It could work though, for like one entire season or a single entire movie. It's kind of like Thor in both his first movie and for a long time in the comics, where everyone thought Thor was just a crazy person. The difference is Thor knew who he was, Moon Knight would be completely lost with-in himself just as much going on the ride of self discovery as the audience.

That is why so many people request a live action Moon Knight.

Top 3 picks 2017 RAZZIES

The razzies are a annual awards ceremony, one where the years worst picture is selected. This article provides predictions for this coming year's worst picture.
Last year the razzie officially went to Batman V.S Superman, don't believe me, google it.

MovieDemon predicts the top worst movies, if not by ticket sales then by failed expectations, will be the following:

Justice League
It
Dark Tower

This would mean a really bad year for Stephen King, or a new record for a studio to receive two razzies in a row being DC-Warner Brothers.
Now you might be angry with me, you might be telling me to shut up and give stuff a chance.
This is just a thoughtful prediction.

Let's start with Justice league. So far every single movie in the DCU has obtained a rotten grade by rotten tomatoes.

 




As you can see there has always been a major rift between the critics and the fans, but the fans couldn't save Batman V.S Superman from winning a razzie. The funny thing is each of these movies were major major cash cows, they just weren't highly acclaimed. Yet you see here there is a trend, and imagine getting ready to see Suicide Squad for it's big opening and you see this:



I still went opening night, but some people may actually wait if they see something like this. Please understand me, I'm not a DC hater, I saw BVS and Suicide Squad opening night, but you have to admit they have a serious problem going on.

Now looking at the JL trailer, I personally hate the director because he makes everything look gaudy like his other creations, Watchmen and 300. That may just be me though.

 The dialogue doesn't scream great but the costumes are cool.
The thing that kills me, that really cements this prediction for a razzie is how awful the CGI looks. The backgrounds, especially the CGI disposable army they fight or drive the bat mobile through. It just looks baaaad to me. Considering how bad the disposable army looked in Suicide Squad, I don't have much faith.

Worse, the directors are filming these sequels way too fast. They had already filmed Wonder Woman before Suicide Squad came out, too late to work with creative criticism. I mean they have gone back and did some reshoots for SS after the release of BVS, but it was for the most part already too late.
I think Wonder Woman might offer a stable foundation, with a singular focus, but I feel like JL is going to resemble the same mess similar to Suicide Squad, so it might be a fun mess at least.

Just no more Marthas, or you might as well bet on another razzie.

-

Stephen King's It, how do you fuck up Stephen king so bad? It has already been admitted to be filled to the brim with jump scares, the cheapest form of horror. Forget the cool creativeness, effects and genuine creepiness of the original It. We are in for a: silence cue, sharp nose/music, "oogie boogie boogie" formula. Don't believe me, check out the very end of this trailer:

This is going to be one of those movies that will scare some, that will more than likely obtain money but will suffer a major bad mouthing. Movie reviews are going to rip this thing to shreds and discourage movie goers, but that is just a prediction.
 One based on the promise of jump scares and how hard the clown's appearance is trying/failing to be creepy.
I honestly thought a very traditional looking clown, the every man clown like in the original was way creepier.
If the critics give this thing a fresh it'll be alot like Ghost Busters 2016, the movie goers will sink it.

-

The Dark Tower's first trailer  has already disappointed the readers of the novels. In most comment sections it's said that the movie is going to act as a piss poor summary of multiple books, one which has completely forsaken a lot of development and important plot lines.

Many people have a issue with the casting of the Gun Slinger.
The reverse of the Iron Fist, Ghost in the Shell controversy.
I don't know, I've always thought Idris Elba has been bad-ass in the Thor series.

But honestly the trailer just bores me, does it bore you?

The only interesting part seems to be the villain, but I mean Matthew McConaughey can make anything look salvageable. Also the line, "I kill with my heart" might mean good writing is in play.

Again the reason why I choose this over something like the Valerian movie (which will either be a surprise hit or silently come and go) is because the Dark Tower has a massive fan base that already has high expectations.

The bigger the expectations, the greater the sense of failure if the movie bombs, as well the greater amount people who will talk about it's short comings into a deep grave.

-

All I can say is good luck to all three of these movies.
I think Dark Tower may skate by, but who knows, maybe Pirates 5 will claim a razzie with it's last installment.

MARVEL SEQUELS CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

  

Did you know Black Panther is scheduled to come out February of 2018?  Seems far from now, but you gotta remember Thor 3 comes out November of this year. So a gap of November 2017 to February 2018 is not a long wait at all.

Marvel has become the king of pumping quality sequels out fast. Think of this,
Guardians 2 - May
Spider Man - July
Thor 3 - November



Each 3-5 months apart from each other.
I personally didn't expect Black Panther so early in 2018, but then again Infinity War is set to be released right around the exact same time Guardians 2 has been released this year.

Expect infinity War in May 2018.
Plus don't forget the Antman/Wasp flick right after Infinity War before the year 2019.
IN-fact as you can see by the provided image, Antman 2 comes out just a couple of months RIGHT after Infinity War, holy shit!!

To make up for that, the next Infinity War won't be released for pretty much another year, but at least Captain Marvel is released ONLY TWO MONTHS before the big sha-bang Infinity 2.

Astounding to not have to wait three years for a single sequel. :P Much the defer'.

Full closure for ten years worth of work will climax at the end of 2019, before the awakening of a new path for the MCU.
P/S Don't seriously expect a Inhumans movie.

3 reasons why Rocket Raccoon isn't just a trash panda

1) Rocket Raccoon has been a avenger in the comics. So once he leaves the Guardians of the Galaxy, which has already been confirmed. As the director has already stated that the team will be separating after the third movie, Rocket may become a full fledged member of the new Avengers team. Along with Doctor Strange, Black Panther, Spider Man, ect.

(Psst. the legendary members are rumored to die in infinity war.)



2) Rocket Raccoon has recently beat Spider-man's ass.

This occurred in the new Rocket Raccoon (2016) comic series, you may read and keep up with it for free - here:
http://readcomiconline.to/Comic/Rocket-Raccoon-2016

"Rocket found himself in a brawl outside of a watering hole. With his leads gone, and a half a dozen aliens taking their shots, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man swinging by came to the rescue. Well, he intended to, but Rocket soon viciously burst from the group, sending them hightailing it away. A talking raccoon is still too strange to ignore, so Miles Morales comes in for a closer look.

Instantly, he learns two things: Rocket Raccoon is nor ordinary raccoon, and it’s never a good idea to try to take away his guns."

Read more here: http://screenrant.com/rocket-raccoon-comic-spider-man/


3) As pointed out by honest movie trailers - The first Guardians of the Galaxy was basically the space avengers. In which Rocket is the "wise cracking tech genius with the the drinking problem, like Tony Stark."

By drinking, I mean the scene at the bar where Drax proposed getting drink during a "chicken fight". Rocket's response was: 

 

Ok, maybe the drinking thing is stretching it, but if Rocket may be reasonably compared to the character who booted the entire MCU, being Iron Man, then that is hell'a a compliment.

So unless you want to enrage a tiny bad-ass, it's best to humor him. :3 

VENOM/CARNAGE spawning in INFINITY WAR?

Let's put aside the idea of 2018's Venom solo movie tying into the MCU, because I doubt it. However, the MCU could have their own Venom, or at the very least Carnage.
I understand that Comic Fans want accuracy and you can't have Carnage without Venom, but hasn't the MCU already changed up the classic myths for many things?

In fact, it has already been stated that the classic origin story for Captain Marvel will be completely altered to fit into the MCU universe. Civil War was also it's own complete thing compared to the original comic version.

So think about it, Infinity War is going to space, the Guardians of the Galaxy are even involved, not to mention Doctor Strange. Finally we're leaving New York, and from the sound of Phase 4, it might for the most part be for good.

In the original origin story of Spider-man's black suit, Peter Parker obtained it during The Secret Wars, IN SPACE.

Pretty much a mega Avenger type mega super-hero role call blockbuster of a story-line. So, during an adventure in space with-in part one or two of the Infinity War films, why not have Peter Parker pick up the alien suit?

Goose bumps of a epic idea, eh?

Also, since Sony will be pushing their own Venom, and if MCU may be granted forgiveness from fans. Why don't we just skip to the most exciting symbiote that hasn't had a movie appearance yet? I mean we could still have the black life form appear to be a lesser hostile threat, but instead of making Venom, it split into Carnage early. Or better, Peter Parker could represent himself in a extremely unprecedented red symbiote suit.

I think fans could forgive Marvel Studios if somehow Peter Parker brought forth Carnage in a very unpredictable and exciting way.
With that said, do we need two Venoms? Can we not only give Peter the suit during Infinity War, but also summon forth a extremely charismatic villain?

Sadly that's kind of a weakness of Marvel, they are really bad at producing interesting villains which seems ridiculous. Given that, Carnage would represent a complete shock to the movie goer's system - only problem is while still producing the suspense - the film will still have to be PG-13.

Andrew Garfield RETURNS as THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

Andrew Garfield returns.
Ok, let that sink in, Andrew Garfield returns as the Amazing Spider-man!

Spider-man has always been the most lucrative solo super hero, so why shouldn't Sony continue their own Spider-man while lending the rights for the MCU to make theirs? Isn't there enough room in the box-office for two spider-men, or will it over-crowd a already stuffed super hero themed box office?



 Regardless, Sony understands they screwed up two separate attempts at the character, a straight forward third reboot would seem extremely unlikely to succeed, at least with-under their own house. Thus they made a cash cow temporary trade off with Disney's MCU. Meanwhile the buzz is that Sony wants to correct the massive mistake they made with the character Venom.



It is after-all a well established fact that not only does Spider-man have a rouges gallery that may compete with Batman's toe to toe, but that Venom is also a maaaajjjoooorrr merchandise cash cow. So instead of cramming Venom in, like in the franchise killing Spider Man 3,  Sony plans to release a solo Venom flick by 2018.
Pretty freak'in sweet. Considering the character's origins and long history of source material this seems adequate. So while keeping the official legal ownership of Spider man, Sony hopes to revive things by not focusing on Peter Parker but instead his villains.A great new direction on how to mooch off the creative rights of the character's universe without another hard reboot or selling the rights entirely to the MCU.

It'll be like a slower take on Suicide Squad, so maybe it will be less of a mess. Instead we might actually be given the time to become invested in the depth of the characters. When I say characters, I mean the Venom movie plus another project starring Black Cat/Silver Sable. Which honestly I can't see a Black Cat movie being that interesting at all, but eh. (Image below includes Black Cat/ Silver Sable charterers.)



Now while Peter Parker may not be the focus, we obviously still need a Spider man. It'll be similar to how Batflick made appearances in Suicide Squad, I'm sure. Thus to answer everyone's question about if the MCU spider-man will cross into Venom, Sony immediately announced that they intend to continue the Amazing Spider-man franchise.

So there might still be that hope for the Sinister Six movie with Garfield.
Just.., god no more Green Goblins or love interests, PLEASE.